This post didn't turn out the way I thought it would

I guess I'm supposed to feel different - I don't. I enjoy the whole birthday scene for the obvious reasons, this year especially, but I don't really see how things should change. Growth, as a whole, is both hard for me to see and hard for me to embrace. I come from a family of pack rats who may or may not actually live in the past...
I start in Cloverdale tomorrow. I'm not exactly thrilled. I should probably find out where the store is located in Cloverdale tonight. If you are in the area, stop by and say hi. For your sake, I hope you don't have to be in the area.
On that note, Starbucks has become a paradox to me. It is such a great company to work for, but there are so many things I would rather do for personal and aesthetic reasons. It comes easily to me, but I do enjoy a challenge, and would rather do something I see more value in. I see these people above me who have done the same thing for years and years, and everyone, including myself, assumes that I will become one of these people, but I don't know whether I can accept that. Nevertheless, God has me here, and in Cloverdale, for a reason, so fortunately I only need to take it one day at a time. These are the things that I have become programmed to say, and only sometimes believe.

I'll add a song title later...

Without much to say, I felt like I should still post. I don't know why. I started at the new store last week. I like the people, alot.
On another note, I feel anxious. I can't explain it - I think I'm impatiently waiting for my wife. I probably don't want to admit my impatience. ....where are you?

"All Of Me" - Watashi Wa

I just finished reading C.S. Lewis' The Great Divorce . His perspective on Heaven and Hell is very eye-opening to me - he disclaims that it is all a dream at the end, which accounts for some of the liberties he took in writing it, but he offers that all eternity is outside of space and time and while heaven is real, hell is all in the mind. Hell is a city forever in twilight - just shy of the impending dark, while the citizens claim it to be a coming daylight. People can't stand being with other people, so they are constantly expanding the city, creating inadequate safety further and further away - lasting forever. One character in the story says that there is safety in numbers, but that it is scarcity that causes people to coexist - Everything in hell can be created, just by imagining it - Hell is the eternal paradox. While in heaven the main character overhears many conversations between those in heaven and those that are visiting. The overhwelming theme is that you have to let go of yourself to become whole. A mother who lost her son at a younger age was claiming God to be injust in taking him from her, and the main character struggled to see her sin in "loving him too much". It was further explained that if the mother truly loved her son, she would not have acted the way she did - therefore neglecting the rest of her family. A very clear line drawn between true love and selfish love.
Anyways if you've read it, I'd love to hear your thoughts. If not, you can borrow it - It's a short read (took me about an hour), but well worth it.
I downloaded the new Watashi Wa album this weekend. I love it. For those that have it - notice the E-Bow on track #4. That's what I'm talking about.
I saw Pirates of the Carribbean with Yoseph last night. Very enjoyable, super awesome special effects. Movies that end without resolution only to lead to another sequel are mildly annoying, but it was still sick. Don't wait through the 11 minutes of credits to see what's at the end. Not worth it.