every 3 months ...

starts a new season, and it seems fitting that i post every 3 months.

i've heard all the metaphors about "the seasons of life" and while i'm not sure i completely agree with the way that some people use the phrase, i feel that i am in an interesting "season of life".

winter.

in my biology class i learned about how trees send all their chlorophyll, sugars, and nutrients to their roots during winter and store it until spring, because of the lack of efficiency of the sunlight during the winter. a study also showed that trees "communicate", and can influence each other. by imitating winter conditions on one tree, other trees in the area will begin to 'hibernate' so to speak.

a sermon i heard recently talked about how you don't necessarily hear from God for periods of time, not meaning that God isn't working, or active, just that we don't always necessarily see it.

i've heard, on more than one occasion that 'the things that you dislike most in other people are the things that you dislike most in yourself'. while i think that there is some merit to this, i think that the ignorance of most people decide to ignore it. for a very long time, i prayed for perspective on people, situations, for revelations, and for clarity. i feel that on some minor level that this has happened. call it growing up, opening my eyes, or whatever you like, but i think that it is a double edged sword. i feel like all that i can see are my frustrations in other people, and in turn i see that in myself. granted this has given me quite the to-do list for myself, but i don't especially want to have a negative view of everyone. i know that everyone deserves mercy and grace, and that of all the sinners i am the worst, but i feel like everyone is falling away.

i don't remember the lyrics verbatum, but FtV used to do a song called 'A Changing Landscape', that mirrored the pillars of the faith falling away like the physical changes of a landscape. i feel very much like that song right now.

i think that a part of feeling that way is not that people around you are all changing, but that you are changing and the way that you see things changes, too. it is very easy to place people on a pedestal when it is convenient to do so, but that does not mean that they are right, righteous, or at all worth the pedestal.

would that it only be a season

that spring would bring flowers

that with every pain we find reason